Today, I want to share with you my personal love story. Not because I want to be a know-it-all relationship advice chick. I want to let people who are dealing with a long distance relationship, know that YES, IT CAN WORK !!! Of course, it is more ” work ” than a regular one but it is so much more rewarding ! I am not going to give general advice that works every time, I only want to share what worked for US and lead US to where we are today : soon-to-be married !!
If you are in this situation, I hope you can be inspired and find what works for your relationship !
I met my fiancé more than three years ago in Montpellier, a beautiful city in south of France. He was playing hockey in the local team and was my best friend’s boyfriend roomate. One day, I went visit my friends for the weekend and that’s how we met !
The thing I remember from this weekend is that my best friend forgot to wake up to drive me back to the train station ! ahah !! So this handsome guy offers to come with me and he even carry my bag all the way ! I remember this time like if it was yesterday. I don’t really think there is LOVE at first sight but there was definitely a strong connection. Few days after I was back, he was still in my mind.
After that, it was just all classic dating. We first talked, then we met again. And again. And again ! Until we finally understood we wanted to be together. We had two great months before we had to take the biggest decision of our lives. Season was over and he had to go back to Finland. I had to stay in France.
Are we commited enough to each other to stay together through the distance ?
In my mind, it was just impossible now, to imagine my life without him in it. Since this first hand shake, I needed him around. I couldn’t explain it.
Nothing was sure. It was a big shot in the dark but we decided to give it try ! He left. The next step was deciding when we will see each other again. I remember us making this calendar and cross it every night !! There was not a day without sweet texts and long evening calls. It was like that for about four months.
It is really hard when you miss someone so much and there is nothing you can do about it. We were three thousand kilometers away.
But next thing I know, I was in a plane to Finland and when I finally saw him again, it was all worthy. Just to feel this movie-like hug ! Seriously, people were smiling around us ! I found one quote who said ”Airports have seen more sincere kisses than wedding halls” and in our case it was so true ! I was definitely not prepared to feel this way for someone, and to be honest I was not even thinking that was possible !
Now I told you this story in the past tense, but all these feelings are still here every single day !
Being in a long distance relatonship makes you stronger as a couple. That is a fact. I mean if you really love each other and that there is complete trust.
You need it anyway or you would just end up crazy !
You have to think clearly at all times, it is not possible to stay mad or not talk for a few days. So you learn really fast that communication is all you have. I truly believe that is the key, and also it is what most people in a regular relationship are missing !
I feel so Carry Bradshaw now !! ahah !
For me, as a French, the most challenging part was trusting that he will not cheat on me. Not because of him, but because of my insecurities. We are this kind of girls who don’t really share their boyfriends ! It was clear between us since day one. I explain him nicely the consequences : ”I cut your balls, I cook them and I make you eat them” !! ahah !! True Story !
But deep down, I know he is the perfect one for me and a Gentleman. He simply wouldn’t do that. I think it is this kind of level of trust that carry us to our happy place now. This year away from each other taught us, even today, to express what is wrong in the moment, not letting that sit and boil until nervous break down or crazy breaking-plates fight !
I see three main facts that worked for us, and that i want to share so you can appreciate your long distance relationship too !
- Long distance relationship forces you to take care of yourself first. It is a very important aspect since people tend to lose themselves in their relathionships. When you are away from the person you love, you have to focus on you ! You have time to work hard, go out with your friends or family, go to the gym, find new hobbies etc… You live your life for yourself, and you have a great deal of things to tell each other in the evening ! 🙂
- TRUST ! I write this one in capital letters because it is so important ! Just don’t obsess over it. If you feel like something is wrong, trust your gut, find the truth and go away. But otherwise, just go with the flow. Happy mood is a must-have in a long distance relationship !!
- Meet each other as often as possible ! You can create you own rituals, like our calendar, to make the time go faster until the sweet reunion ! It makes you appreciate the person you love a million time more than people who see each other every day.
But most of all, don’t stay like that forever. The beauty of it is when it finally ends and you get to fall asleep next to each other every night.
To You, strong people in a long distance relationship, all my love and support. You gonna make it !